I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
