I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
