Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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