"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
