Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You are a genius and a whore.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
