We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
