I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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