i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
