doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
