ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
