He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
