I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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