i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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