I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
