come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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