I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
