I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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