your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
