The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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