my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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