I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
