I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I want is dick and wine.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
