I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
