god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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