It was confusing and full of hummus
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
