apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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