Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
