why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
