Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will be naked everywhere
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
