Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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