Do you still have your period?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
