I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
