...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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