Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
