But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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