I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
