A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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