Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
