Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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