It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have already put on my inside pants.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
