yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
