So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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