the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
