Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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