Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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