so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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