How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
