How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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