Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize