ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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