God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
