I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize