It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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