Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
