I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Even my vagina gasped.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
