Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize