just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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