Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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