btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
