Quick, to the slutcave!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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