yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
