he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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