i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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