Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you had me at cake vodka
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
