is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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