I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
